Decoys

You know another really good thing guy friends are good for? Playing the decoy.

Every girl has been hit on or leered at by a creepy guy in the bar, or just out in public. This is where the guy friend steps in and wraps his arms around his female friend in a huge hug, or simply puts an arm around her shoulders. It lets the creeper know that she is unavailable for his amorous advances. 

If he is a good guy friend, it takes one pleading look or cringe from his female friend for him to know to take action. 

If its a guy friend like Puffy, it takes begging and the sight of the creeper kissing the girl's cross necklace to jump in and run interference... I have wonderful friends, don't I? (I actually do. If I don't pick on them once in a while, they'll think I don't care.)

In all seriousness, I have seen most of my guy friends do this for my girl friends (and even myself on occasion) and it makes me love them more. 

In a small way, this is where chivalry has gone: rushing in to save the maiden with no other reason than she needs saving. It doesn't have to lead to anything more serious and it doesn't have to mean anything more than the guy being a good guy and helping a girl out when she needs it.

My feminist sisters, sit down and unbunch your panties. I'm not saying that these girls NEED saving or that they can't save themselves. Sometimes, it's just easier and less embarrassing for all involved for a "boyfriend" to be there to deter unwanted attention. It's also handy if the guy won't take "no" for an answer. A "boyfriend" usually forces them to take the "no" or risk gratuitous violence ensuing.

I got to witness this a few times tonight. I was out with a few friends and Lacy* was receiving some unwanted attention. All it took was a hug from our friend Jayne* and the guy went on his way. Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

Ladies, I hope you all have a guy friend willing to do this for you.

Gents, I hope you are the kind of guy who is willing to do this for the ladies in your life.

Plus, who doesn't want a free hug from a friend once in a while?

Oh, and ladies, don't be afraid to help a guy out with this, too. It doesn't happen very often that a guy is not open to the attention of a female, but if he is, jump in and save him. Just tread lightly. You don't need me to tell you that there are crazy chicks out there who will see you as competition for "their" man. If this happens, you have three options: 

1) grab your friend and bail (run from crazy-bitch!)

2) walk and let him deal with her on his own

3) have him hold your earrings while you beat some sense into her

I wouldn't recommend #3 unless you are: A) sure that you can win, B) not get arrested, and C) your guy friend will pay you back with something equal or twice the value as a crazy-bitch beat down.

A Social Experiment

A few weeks ago, Cricket*, a female coworker, and I were trading stories about male customers who can't seem to trust our answers about guns and ammo because we are women. One of the guys actually coined a phrase for it: "penis confirmation". 

Every single woman in the department has been a victim of it. The interactions range from a man asking a question and quasi-stealthily finding a guy to ask also all the way to a man asking a female employee a question, then completely walking away from her to ask a guy before she can finish her answer. I even had a customer ask me to give the phone to "one of the guys because they'll know the answer."

Now, I have never thought this to be the brightest idea that a man has ever had, you know, since we work with guns and all that. 

Well, Sven*, one of the gun counter guys, had a brilliant idea while he was listening to Cricket and I bitch about penis confirmation: make it so that there was one day that only women were scheduled in the department and see what the male customers would do.

Needless to say, we loved the idea and rounded up the ladies to get on board with the idea. Then, we put it to the scheduler. She loved it too, and made it happen. (We didn't want to tell anybody with real power because we were afraid they'd shut us down, but our manager found out and thought it was hilarious. I don't think anybody told the store manager though, but there's different reasons there.)

Well, when the day arrived, we all waited excitedly for 5pm to roll around so we could say goodbye to the guys and start our experiment (I'll admit, we called it that because it sounds nicer and more professional than just wanting to screw with our customer's heads). It was a Tuesday, so foot traffic was slow... and we didn't get the reaction we hoped for. There were a few men who looked around in some slight confusion, but there were no penis confirmation moments, much to our disappointment.

Although, we did find out that we all work really well together as a team and got more done as a department than we normally do. I guess, in our case, it's the boys who bring the drama and the girls who get shit done. (J/k... kinda....they know I love them).

I think the general consensus was that we want to keep trying our "experiment" to see of we can finally get the reaction we are hoping for.

We're cruel, I know but...

"Hell hath no fury...."