The Curse of the Friendzone

The "friend zone" is an interesting phenomenon that has exploded across pop culture in the past few years. While, I'm sure, it dates back to the dawn of humans, it hasn't really held a place in our culture previously like it does now.

The friend zone is where a male and a female (and other variations on this depending on your sexual orientation) meet, fall in mutual friendliness, and the feelings stop there... For only one person. The feelings grow into "like" or even "love" for one of the people while they continue to be friends with the object of their affection, pining for the return of their love and (usually) never getting it. 

This may not be the best explanation of it but hey, I work with what I have. You don't like it, go check out one of the million songs, movies, or books using this premise for dramatic affect. 

Now, I've been friend-zoned (the action of the person you like putting you solidly in the friend column) more than I care to think about (I'm writing a blog about being surrounded by guy friends if it gives you any indication of how many times I've been friend-zoned). I'm the Vice President of the Kearney chapter of Friend-zoned Anonymous, we meet every Wednesday at the bar, bring your own chocolate. 

Now, this topic comes up because of my friend Carlos*. He is one of those guys who has a million gal-friends because he's funny, affectionate, in touch with his feelings, etc. Well, due to this, he has friend-zoned a good number of the girls (not me, because we aren't like that, if u were wondering. strictly friends with us lol) in his following because he wasn't into them, which is perfectly acceptable (kind of) to most girls, as long as the guy they like is single. Well, hell breaks loose and the claws come out when the guy finally finds a girl he really likes like my buddy Carlos just did. Now he has all of these girls calling him an asshole because he didn't want them.

Being friend-zoned is not anybody's fault and is not necessarily a bad thing. A guy can't help if he doesn't return your feelings or if a girl says she wants a guy just like you but not you. As many people in bad relationships and bad movies will tell you, you can't help who you love (and conversely: who you don't love).

Now, for it not being such a bad thing... It sucks. It is one of the worst feelings of your life when you realize that the love and affection you have for somebody important in your life will never be returned, especially after months, if not years, of hoping and over-analyzing every word, every look, every laugh that asshole gave you and knowing that you are the much better person than the bitch he is currently dating... Ok got off track there, sorry. 

VP here talking from experience, it blows, but you will get over it. You will realize that he/she is better as a friend than they would be as your significant other and you will grow up a little, become a better person for it... Until it happens again, because it inevitably will. And you know what? You will walk away from that one also.

Finally (hoping with fingers crossed) you will meet the man/woman who may have friend-zoned other worthy women/men because he/she was waiting for you.

I haven't had it happen yet (because I'm repulsive to men) but hey, I'm a sucker for happy endings and it might as well be yours.

*name has been changed to keep him from giving me crap for writing about him.