Oh, Jessica

Well, tonight, like most Thursday nights, was interesting to say the least.

Thursday means karaoke at our favorite bar, Lumbergs, (If you ever find yourself in Kearney, head to Lumbergs. Best bartenders in town! Tell them that I sent you.) which also means that I find myself sitting at a table full of guys, being "entertained" by their possibly (probably) untrue stories of conquest and other ridiculousness. I am usually the only XX chromosomer at the table until my friend Jessica shows up, then I have someone to talk to, leaving the boys to their own devices.

While I love Jessica, she tends to make the boys uncomfortable with some of her topics of conversation (which I find very humorous and uncomfortable at the same time).

Well, tonight, her mission was to wingman for me. I was not a very active participant since I was happy sitting in my corner and drinking my vodka. Although, I did go off on my friend Brett for not helping me find a guy, when I spend a lot of time helping them with the ladies. (I mean, isn't one of the perks of having guy friends being introduced to their guy friends?! ...And having backup in a fight? Hey, hold my earrings! Sorry, ADD.) When her initial mission failed, we decided to park ourselves at the bar and chit-chat. We were soon joined by Joey.... poor guy had no idea what was in store for him.

Jessica suddenly asked him "If you were gay, what would your type be?"

Joey was speechless for a few moments so Jessica and I decided to help by throwing out famous guys who we thought were attractive. I also decided to try to help by saying who I'd go gay for (Emma Stone and Keira Knightly are at the top of my list if anybody wants to know). This line of conversation got us virtually nowhere until we got him to admit that the guy couldn't be more muscular than him... then the conversation was dead in the water.

When that failed, Jessica went back to her original mission and recruited Joey in "finding a husband for Katherine." To which Joey asked what my type was. "Fluffy and Scruffy and taller than me" I said.

Joey pointed out the one guy in the bar who was not fluffy or scruffy but was taller than me... While I appreciate his contribution, I don't even want to think of the can of worms this opened.