As I said in a previous post, I'm not the kind of woman who would ever want/try to steal a guy from his significant other. That doesn't mean I don't find myself in a subcategory of "The Other Woman"-dom.
Being a female who is also friends with single, 20-something males, means that I have to walk a treacherous line between friend and competition for the girls that the guys are dating... something I never considered I'd be. While this has lead to lots of laughing and jokes it's not all unicorns and rainbows. The one real situation where I've been banned from being friends with a guy because of his girlfriend (I believe his name was Pedro), has made me reevaluate my relationship with my other guy friends.
The worst part of my section of "The Other Woman"-dom is being "dumped" when a guy friend gets a girlfriend. I think this is the one thing I hate about having guys friends. (Of course there are things that drive me nuts, but I don't truely hate anything other than this.)
It is almost like being actually dumped. You stop seeing and talking to them regularly, you randomly wonder what he's doing, you feel left out when you find out he was out with some of your other friends and nobody invited you, you lose somebody to cook for (maybe that last one is just me, besides, I still have Puffy), and most of all, you miss them.
All guys you talk to say that they're not going to dump their friends when they get a girlfriend, and while their intentions might be pure, they're execution is usually a little weak. It's understandable. They have somebody new and important in their lives that they want to spend time with and get to know... it just sucks.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Not that Kind of Girl, pt. II
Here's a not-so-pleasant update from the previous post:
I'm not 100% sure what the catalyst was, but I've been forbidden from seeing Pedro anymore by his girlfriend. Not only seeing, but facebooking, texting, calling, or really talking. (Remember him saying that he would never let that happen? Yeah, me too.)
While, from my point of view, that's the worst of it since it directly affected me (you should be the most important thing in your own life, right?), but it does get worse. Pedro's girlfriend had him give up rugby to prove how important she was to him, and he can't do a lot of the things that makes him, him, without her there to supervise so he doesn't get into any trouble.
Pedro is 27 freaking years old... When did girlfriend start equalling babysitter, mom, and warden all rolled into one?
Anyway, I guess the point of this is to send out a plea to the girls who might stumble across this:
Please don't turn into a crazy girlfriend like my friend Pedro has. Not only does it make you look like a manipulative cunt dragon to everybody who knows your boyfriend, it is far from healthy. If you are that kind of girlfriend, please take a step back and reevaluate your life... maybe even see a councilor because you'll only end up hurting the person you care about the most and yourself.
I'm not 100% sure what the catalyst was, but I've been forbidden from seeing Pedro anymore by his girlfriend. Not only seeing, but facebooking, texting, calling, or really talking. (Remember him saying that he would never let that happen? Yeah, me too.)
While, from my point of view, that's the worst of it since it directly affected me (you should be the most important thing in your own life, right?), but it does get worse. Pedro's girlfriend had him give up rugby to prove how important she was to him, and he can't do a lot of the things that makes him, him, without her there to supervise so he doesn't get into any trouble.
Pedro is 27 freaking years old... When did girlfriend start equalling babysitter, mom, and warden all rolled into one?
Anyway, I guess the point of this is to send out a plea to the girls who might stumble across this:
Please don't turn into a crazy girlfriend like my friend Pedro has. Not only does it make you look like a manipulative cunt dragon to everybody who knows your boyfriend, it is far from healthy. If you are that kind of girlfriend, please take a step back and reevaluate your life... maybe even see a councilor because you'll only end up hurting the person you care about the most and yourself.
(Edited from previous post 7/4/2012)
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Not That Kind of Girl
As one of my coworkers succinctly put it, I think like a girl up to a certain point, but I think like a guy most of the time.
Which is why I was so baffled when one of my best friend’s (let’s call him Pedro) girl friend accused me of wanting to steal him away from her. I’ll tell you just like I told Pedro, I love him as a friend, but I haven’t had those kind of feelings for him for over six months (long before he and his girlfriend started)… ever since I finally woke up and realized how horrible we would be together. :)
I could tell how awkward he was when he told me what she was accusing me of (I laughed… hard. Probably not the most mature reaction but it took me by surprise) and that she told him to inform me that he would never leave her for me (More laughing. I’m not the kind of person who would encourage a guy to leave his significant other for me). But as Pedro’s friend, I was willing to do what I could to help sooth her ruffled feathers and help him get his shit back on track. I promised to keep my distance and told him to tell her that she could call me if she wanted to take anything up with me personally.
Thankfully, she didn’t forbid us from hanging out together anymore. We all would have had a problem with that. Pedro even said that it wouldn’t have flown if she had… not 100% sure what he meant by that but I like to think that he would have stolen his balls back from her purse and put his foot down.
While it’s a rather delicate situation and uncharted territory for me, it has become a bit of a joke amongst my friends. Hell, Puffy has even started calling me “Homewrecker” depending on the situation and who we’re with. He’s even asked me if I was allowed to have lunch with him and Pedro… and he went out of his joking way to make sure Pedro and I didn’t sit next to each other.
This whole thing has finally forced me to the realization that if I am going to continue to have male friends, I am going to have to figure out some way to make nice with their girlfriends so this occurrence doesn’t keep happening….
Now, how the hell do I do that?
Sunday, April 15, 2012
The first rule of Fight Club is: Never talk about Fight Club
I recently got into a pretty bad car accident. My little Dodge Stratus could not compete with the other driver's Ford Expedition and it was sent to an early grave. I'm still alive and doing better than my car... but not by much.
I'm sore, stitches in my elbow, bruises on my right leg and hand, and a huge fucking goose-egg that takes up half of my face, highlighted by the epic shiner around my left eye.
Girls and guys normally react to injuries very differently and my injuries definitely gave me first hand knowledge of this.
My accident happened Thursday afternoon. After an evening spent with some of my closest friends at the Lair trying to wrap my head around what happened and dealing with my injuries I ventured out Friday morning to get the stuff out of my car and fax the police report to the insurance agent. To do this, I ran out to work so I could use the fax machine.
As soon as I walked into the building, I was swamped by some of my female coworkers who lamented over my injuries and shuddered at sight of my swollen eye. After I told my story a few times and took all the sympathy I could handle at that moment, I headed back to the gun department to send my fax and chat with my friend Matt and a couple of my other coworkers.
I loved my male coworkers reactions to my injuries. They were excited about my black eye and actually complimented me on it. Their eyes brightened at the retelling of my tale and they gave me outlandish stories to tell when somebody asked about my eye.
An interesting difference between the sex's reactions to injuries: Women are nurturing and worried, men are proud and excited to see them/show them off.
I'm sore, stitches in my elbow, bruises on my right leg and hand, and a huge fucking goose-egg that takes up half of my face, highlighted by the epic shiner around my left eye.
Girls and guys normally react to injuries very differently and my injuries definitely gave me first hand knowledge of this.
My accident happened Thursday afternoon. After an evening spent with some of my closest friends at the Lair trying to wrap my head around what happened and dealing with my injuries I ventured out Friday morning to get the stuff out of my car and fax the police report to the insurance agent. To do this, I ran out to work so I could use the fax machine.
As soon as I walked into the building, I was swamped by some of my female coworkers who lamented over my injuries and shuddered at sight of my swollen eye. After I told my story a few times and took all the sympathy I could handle at that moment, I headed back to the gun department to send my fax and chat with my friend Matt and a couple of my other coworkers.
I loved my male coworkers reactions to my injuries. They were excited about my black eye and actually complimented me on it. Their eyes brightened at the retelling of my tale and they gave me outlandish stories to tell when somebody asked about my eye.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Totally True
My friend Mark took one taste of one of the goodies I made this week and spouted that he couldn't decide weither to classify me as a Goddess or something above a Goddess. That warmed the cockles of my heart a bit.
Sorry, another post tooting my own horn about how awesome a cook/baker I am. I'm done now.
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| The Awesomeness that is Carbomb Cupcakes |
Monday, March 12, 2012
The way to a man's heart....
... is through his stomach.
My favorite is introducing my friends to old family recipes that I've loved for years and having them love them as much or more than I do, like galumpkis (cabbage rolls) and kifli (crescent cookies). Puffy and Joey are usually the ones who get to be my guinea pigs when I attempt new recipes and as far as I know, I haven't disappointed them yet.
One of my favorite new recipes is carbomb cupcakes/cake (which Puffy recently requested and I have spent a good part of the day working on): Guinness chocolate cake, Jameson ganache, and Bailey's Irish Cream frosting. I've made them quite a few times since I put them together and they never fail to be a huge hit.
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| picture and recipe from http://www.mybakingaddiction.com/guinness-cupcakes/ |
They even made my friend Evan think of me when he found a recipe for Blue Moon cupcakes. Which he sent me with the a note saying that I needed to make them next time he was in town. They weren't as good as the carbomb cupcakes but they weren't bad.
Oh, another thing. If alcohol and/or bacon can be added to a recipe, do it! Don't think twice! Not only will they make it better, guys will love you for it.
...Oh, gravy and cheese, too.
...Oh, gravy and cheese, too.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
My Sheldon
I have a friend who is our version of Sheldon. He's not as socially retarded as Sheldon, but the resemblance is scary. He's super smart and tends to insert very random bits of information into conversations that nobody understands but actually is pertinent to the conversation.
He has a very dry wit and most people can't tell when he's joking or serious and I have to be on my toes around him to keep from being utterly confused by what he says.
The reason for this post is to share with the word what kind of text messages Nathan comes up with after an evening of drinking. I might have to ask him for the translation... you'll see what I mean.
"crepuscular uniformatarianstic revanchistic polyandrous fricative tetrapodsm"
"slutious maximus in the common tongue most slutious with an entymogical root in Italic Indo European, bitches!"
"In the course of ones life one lives to make light of ones own existence and existential frailty or in the words of the wise...one must live for liveliness sake and create our own fate. so in a word... nefarious apathy, bitches!"
The last one I can actually understand and love but the other two are a little iffy on their meanings to this kid.
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| Nathan and Me |
He has a very dry wit and most people can't tell when he's joking or serious and I have to be on my toes around him to keep from being utterly confused by what he says.
The reason for this post is to share with the word what kind of text messages Nathan comes up with after an evening of drinking. I might have to ask him for the translation... you'll see what I mean.
"crepuscular uniformatarianstic revanchistic polyandrous fricative tetrapodsm"
"slutious maximus in the common tongue most slutious with an entymogical root in Italic Indo European, bitches!"
"In the course of ones life one lives to make light of ones own existence and existential frailty or in the words of the wise...one must live for liveliness sake and create our own fate. so in a word... nefarious apathy, bitches!"
The last one I can actually understand and love but the other two are a little iffy on their meanings to this kid.
Grandpa
I became a Grandpa today!
I know what you're thinking: "WTF? Aren't you a chick?!"
Yes, I am a female... let me explain. My freshmen year in college, three of my friends and I ventured the 30-some miles to Bob's Bar in Nebraska to enjoy the huge burgers and even huger sides. On our way back, the two sitting in the back seat, Jamie and Miles, began playfully acting like children. Jonda and I in the front seat began playfully acting like parents. I (metaphorically) drew the short straw and became the dad and it is an inside joke that we have carried to this day.
So, I celebrated the way men have been celebrating the birth of a child into their family for generations: I smoked a cigar with my closest male friends and showed off a baby picture that the others only looked at out of friendship to me.
I know what you're thinking: "WTF? Aren't you a chick?!"
Yes, I am a female... let me explain. My freshmen year in college, three of my friends and I ventured the 30-some miles to Bob's Bar in Nebraska to enjoy the huge burgers and even huger sides. On our way back, the two sitting in the back seat, Jamie and Miles, began playfully acting like children. Jonda and I in the front seat began playfully acting like parents. I (metaphorically) drew the short straw and became the dad and it is an inside joke that we have carried to this day.
Today, March 8, 2012, my "daughter" Jamie gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Aydelia Elaine Wilson-Campbell.
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| She looks just like me!!! |
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Once again...
... a guy in my life allows his penis decide his loyalty rather than his head.
I got left at a bar last night and needless to say, I am not happy about it. Even 24 hours later, I'm still pissed off.
Oh, and the super power that I would want the least? Invisibility. I'm already invisible so it'd just be redundant.
Pity party over. Sorry.
I got left at a bar last night and needless to say, I am not happy about it. Even 24 hours later, I'm still pissed off.
Oh, and the super power that I would want the least? Invisibility. I'm already invisible so it'd just be redundant.
Pity party over. Sorry.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Just Call Me Annie Oakley
There is nothing sexier to me than a good looking man using a weapon, be it gun, sword, or atlatl. It may seem under-evolved and less-than-modern, but that's how I roll. It's lucky for me that I sell guns for a living and have lots of guy friends who like "shooting shit."
But while I enjoy watching men be all manly, I like to join in the fun, too.
Hell, I even own my own guns so I didn't have to borrow the boys's toys.
We traded off shooting pistols and rifles. We had a couple .22s and Puffy's .30-06 along with Joey's SKS (which I have been wanting to try out since he bought it and I may need to buy one, too. It was FUN to shoot.) We also shot blue rock, trading the three shotguns between the four guys and me. I think we need to go shooting blue rock more (I'll probably have to steal my dad's shot gun, too.) because I think I only hit 3 or 4 clays out of the probably 10-15 that I shot at.
But while I enjoy watching men be all manly, I like to join in the fun, too.
Today, I went shooting with the guys. It was just supposed to be Puffy, Joey, my friend Mark, and I, but Mark couldn't make it and Joey invited our friends Ivan, Chris, Laura, and Riley. So it was quite a party.
It may or may not be necessary to say, but I was the only female there who knew much of anything about guns so I got to play with the boys instead of standing around and watching.
Hell, I even own my own guns so I didn't have to borrow the boys's toys.
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| Ms. Rita Skeeter: She's a picky, noisy bitch. |
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| Ruger 10/22 that I stole from my dad... It's mine now! |
Doesn't mean I don't borrow their guns on occasion. I love Rugers and both Puffy and Joey have Ruger pistols which I shoot every chance I get.
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| Ginger: Puffy's SR9C |
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| The Hand Cannon: Joey's P345 |
We traded off shooting pistols and rifles. We had a couple .22s and Puffy's .30-06 along with Joey's SKS (which I have been wanting to try out since he bought it and I may need to buy one, too. It was FUN to shoot.) We also shot blue rock, trading the three shotguns between the four guys and me. I think we need to go shooting blue rock more (I'll probably have to steal my dad's shot gun, too.) because I think I only hit 3 or 4 clays out of the probably 10-15 that I shot at.
Puffy thought it would be funny to make Laura and Riley shoot his shotgun (a single shot that is half mule if how it kicks is any indicator) without full disclosure on how bad the kick is. Poor girls. I chuckled with the guys but the memory of my first time shooting it is too fresh to really enjoy it.
I did shoot the damn thing too many times tonight, though. My shoulder hurts so bad right now.
Friday, February 24, 2012
More Girliness
As one of the "guys" (something that was reconfirmed by Puffy tonight when an impending fight with Greg-another guy in our group who said he couldn't hit a chick and Puffy tried to help... I guess), they tend to forget that I am a chick who has female thoughts once in a while... although I try to keep them locked up deep inside my head.
Most people know where chick-thoughts tend to lead: overanalyzing every tiny thing, messed up logic that nobody understands but other girls pretend to for the sake of sisterhood... and other things that escape me.
Anywho, I forgot where I was going with this (probably due to the vodka, nom nom)... The following blog post was discovered by my bestie, Jessi and I felt like there were probably other females in the world who know exactly how it feels and it's something that I think that guys should probably be made aware of.
Girl's Got Shine: What to do
As much as I hate to admit to myself, let alone an entire Internet world full of people, but I have been there, done that, have the T-shirt.
It sucked.
After some soul-searching and a "Coming to Jesus" talk with myself, I finally got over it. Might have been the chicken move, but we're better friends now than we ever have been... probably because I'm not so freaking stressed and neurotic around him.
It seems to be a risk of guys and girls being friends... If you have any questions, watch "When Harry Met Sally." It's not 100% right, but it does explain some of this phenomon.
Most people know where chick-thoughts tend to lead: overanalyzing every tiny thing, messed up logic that nobody understands but other girls pretend to for the sake of sisterhood... and other things that escape me.
Anywho, I forgot where I was going with this (probably due to the vodka, nom nom)... The following blog post was discovered by my bestie, Jessi and I felt like there were probably other females in the world who know exactly how it feels and it's something that I think that guys should probably be made aware of.
Girl's Got Shine: What to do
As much as I hate to admit to myself, let alone an entire Internet world full of people, but I have been there, done that, have the T-shirt.
It sucked.
After some soul-searching and a "Coming to Jesus" talk with myself, I finally got over it. Might have been the chicken move, but we're better friends now than we ever have been... probably because I'm not so freaking stressed and neurotic around him.
It seems to be a risk of guys and girls being friends... If you have any questions, watch "When Harry Met Sally." It's not 100% right, but it does explain some of this phenomon.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Old Codgers
Just throwing this out there... Old Codgers love me.... and I love them.
For those of you who don't know what an Old Codger is, I will enlighten you. An Old Codger is an old man who usually has more than three of the following qualities: a) grumpy most of the time, b) a dirty old man, c) a story-telling old man, d) a great sense of humor, e) a wealth of information, f) dry wit, g) loud.
Working at a "guy store" with a bunch of guys, working in a predominatly male department (one other girl), I work with my fair share of Old Codgers... and I love every minute of it. They tease me, they answer my questions, they have the best dirty jokes, and more than a few of them treat me like a daughter. They make fun of women just to get a rise out of me but are more than happy to help me when I ask. They defend me when its needed but are more than willing to poke fun of me when they get the chance. We even spend some of our free time at work trading innuendos and quips naughty enough to make a hooker blush.
For example, I just heard this one last night: "Let's make like our butcher shop is on fire......... Grab our meat and beat it!"
(There are some men out there who would qualify as an Old Codger, but are uber creepy. In my book, the creepiness factor cancels out the Old Codger title and puts them into the "creepy old man" catagory. I am not a fan of the creepy old man, many of whom I deal with on a regular basis.)
How many 25 year old girls in this day in age, have a goal of drinking a few beers and hanging out with coworkers over twice her age?
Probably not many, but most of them don't have the appreciation and affection for Old Codgers that I do.
For those of you who don't know what an Old Codger is, I will enlighten you. An Old Codger is an old man who usually has more than three of the following qualities: a) grumpy most of the time, b) a dirty old man, c) a story-telling old man, d) a great sense of humor, e) a wealth of information, f) dry wit, g) loud.
Working at a "guy store" with a bunch of guys, working in a predominatly male department (one other girl), I work with my fair share of Old Codgers... and I love every minute of it. They tease me, they answer my questions, they have the best dirty jokes, and more than a few of them treat me like a daughter. They make fun of women just to get a rise out of me but are more than happy to help me when I ask. They defend me when its needed but are more than willing to poke fun of me when they get the chance. We even spend some of our free time at work trading innuendos and quips naughty enough to make a hooker blush.
For example, I just heard this one last night: "Let's make like our butcher shop is on fire......... Grab our meat and beat it!"
(There are some men out there who would qualify as an Old Codger, but are uber creepy. In my book, the creepiness factor cancels out the Old Codger title and puts them into the "creepy old man" catagory. I am not a fan of the creepy old man, many of whom I deal with on a regular basis.)
How many 25 year old girls in this day in age, have a goal of drinking a few beers and hanging out with coworkers over twice her age?
Probably not many, but most of them don't have the appreciation and affection for Old Codgers that I do.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Oh, Jessica
Well, tonight, like most Thursday nights, was interesting to say the least.
Thursday means karaoke at our favorite bar, Lumbergs, (If you ever find yourself in Kearney, head to Lumbergs. Best bartenders in town! Tell them that I sent you.) which also means that I find myself sitting at a table full of guys, being "entertained" by their possibly (probably) untrue stories of conquest and other ridiculousness. I am usually the only XX chromosomer at the table until my friend Jessica shows up, then I have someone to talk to, leaving the boys to their own devices.
While I love Jessica, she tends to make the boys uncomfortable with some of her topics of conversation (which I find very humorous and uncomfortable at the same time).
Well, tonight, her mission was to wingman for me. I was not a very active participant since I was happy sitting in my corner and drinking my vodka. Although, I did go off on my friend Brett for not helping me find a guy, when I spend a lot of time helping them with the ladies. (I mean, isn't one of the perks of having guy friends being introduced to their guy friends?! ...And having backup in a fight? Hey, hold my earrings! Sorry, ADD.) When her initial mission failed, we decided to park ourselves at the bar and chit-chat. We were soon joined by Joey.... poor guy had no idea what was in store for him.
Jessica suddenly asked him "If you were gay, what would your type be?"
Joey was speechless for a few moments so Jessica and I decided to help by throwing out famous guys who we thought were attractive. I also decided to try to help by saying who I'd go gay for (Emma Stone and Keira Knightly are at the top of my list if anybody wants to know). This line of conversation got us virtually nowhere until we got him to admit that the guy couldn't be more muscular than him... then the conversation was dead in the water.
When that failed, Jessica went back to her original mission and recruited Joey in "finding a husband for Katherine." To which Joey asked what my type was. "Fluffy and Scruffy and taller than me" I said.
Joey pointed out the one guy in the bar who was not fluffy or scruffy but was taller than me... While I appreciate his contribution, I don't even want to think of the can of worms this opened.
Thursday means karaoke at our favorite bar, Lumbergs, (If you ever find yourself in Kearney, head to Lumbergs. Best bartenders in town! Tell them that I sent you.) which also means that I find myself sitting at a table full of guys, being "entertained" by their possibly (probably) untrue stories of conquest and other ridiculousness. I am usually the only XX chromosomer at the table until my friend Jessica shows up, then I have someone to talk to, leaving the boys to their own devices.
While I love Jessica, she tends to make the boys uncomfortable with some of her topics of conversation (which I find very humorous and uncomfortable at the same time).
Well, tonight, her mission was to wingman for me. I was not a very active participant since I was happy sitting in my corner and drinking my vodka. Although, I did go off on my friend Brett for not helping me find a guy, when I spend a lot of time helping them with the ladies. (I mean, isn't one of the perks of having guy friends being introduced to their guy friends?! ...And having backup in a fight? Hey, hold my earrings! Sorry, ADD.) When her initial mission failed, we decided to park ourselves at the bar and chit-chat. We were soon joined by Joey.... poor guy had no idea what was in store for him.
Jessica suddenly asked him "If you were gay, what would your type be?"
Joey was speechless for a few moments so Jessica and I decided to help by throwing out famous guys who we thought were attractive. I also decided to try to help by saying who I'd go gay for (Emma Stone and Keira Knightly are at the top of my list if anybody wants to know). This line of conversation got us virtually nowhere until we got him to admit that the guy couldn't be more muscular than him... then the conversation was dead in the water.
When that failed, Jessica went back to her original mission and recruited Joey in "finding a husband for Katherine." To which Joey asked what my type was. "Fluffy and Scruffy and taller than me" I said.
Joey pointed out the one guy in the bar who was not fluffy or scruffy but was taller than me... While I appreciate his contribution, I don't even want to think of the can of worms this opened.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Excerpt
The following is an exxerpt from my as-of-yet untitled second novel. It is very simular to many conversations that I have had with my guy friends in the past. Enjoy.
“What’s so funny?” Leander asked as he dropped a huge bowl full of brownies, cookies, and ice cream on the table.
“That better be to share.” Kinga said, eyeing the river of melted ice cream that was spilling over the side and onto the table. “I don’t think your uniform can handle you eating all of that on your own.” She reached over and pinched his side to emphasize her point.
“Oy! My uniform fits just right and yes, it is to share!” Leander said as he threw three spoons onto the table.
Theseus laughed again as he grabbed a spoon and dug in. “Thanks, guys! I can always count on you to make me laugh!”
“And to point out good scenery!” Leander said as he motioned with his head to a large group of female cadets who had just entered the mess hall. “Hello, ladies!”
All conversation ceased as Leander and Theseus stared as the newcomers went through the line and sat at a table near them.
“You guys are pigs.” Kinga said with a chuckle that was half amused and half disgusted. “I’m going to go talk with Orencio…” When she got no response she continued. “Start a food fight or possibly have sex with Ivan. Let me know when your hormones stop thinking for you.”
Kinga shook her head when they did not respond to what she said as she walked away. “Did she just say she was going to have sex with Ivan?” Leander asked, distractedly.
“Yeah, on the food table, I think.” Theseus said as he took another bite of ice cream.
“What?” Leander pulled his attention away from the table of women to look around. “Where is she?”
Theseus smiled slyly at his friend. “Worried that she’s actually with Ivan?”
“Why would I care if she’s with him? Except for the fact that he’s a dick.” Leander dug into the bowl of sweets with gusto.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Girly Stuff
Every once in a while, I do something girly and I love the reaction the guys have.
The first time I really noticed this was one day when I was drying my hair and Pufffy walked by my open doorway. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him stop, back up, and stare at me with a confused look on his face. I calmly (with just a little laugh) told him that I was just drying my hair and asked why he confused. He simply shook his head and kept walking.
The next event that really sticks out in my mind was when I sat in the living room with Puffy and Joey watching T.V. and decided to do my nails. I took out my polish remover, file, and new nail polish. I sat there absentmindedly removing my old polish and filing my nails when I had the feeling of being watched. I turned and saw both of the guys were watching me with a combined look of confusion and surprise.
Sometimes I think they forget that I'm a girl and girly things catch them off guard.
I do play my girl card once in a while. The last time involved cute shoes and walking father than what was comfortable in them. I, of course complained, and Joey said the typical guy "well, why did you wear them?" response. I came back with the typical girl "because they're cute!" response, to which he just rolled his eyes.
The first time I really noticed this was one day when I was drying my hair and Pufffy walked by my open doorway. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him stop, back up, and stare at me with a confused look on his face. I calmly (with just a little laugh) told him that I was just drying my hair and asked why he confused. He simply shook his head and kept walking.
The next event that really sticks out in my mind was when I sat in the living room with Puffy and Joey watching T.V. and decided to do my nails. I took out my polish remover, file, and new nail polish. I sat there absentmindedly removing my old polish and filing my nails when I had the feeling of being watched. I turned and saw both of the guys were watching me with a combined look of confusion and surprise.
Sometimes I think they forget that I'm a girl and girly things catch them off guard.
I do play my girl card once in a while. The last time involved cute shoes and walking father than what was comfortable in them. I, of course complained, and Joey said the typical guy "well, why did you wear them?" response. I came back with the typical girl "because they're cute!" response, to which he just rolled his eyes.
Drunky McDrunkerson
I am sitting here watching a movie and listening to my own Drunky McDrunkerson yell profanities at the T.V. for making him think and fall off the couch.... now he wants to elbow drop the T.V., something I don't think Puffy would particularly enjoy since its his T.V. I actually had to shut the T.V. off to prevent this.
This all has made me realize that my friends would probably be dead without me. Ok, that might have been a little dramatic, but lately, I'm beginning to think it's close to the truth.
I often find myself the mom of the group, especially when we're drinking. Like to the point of being obnoxious. No matter how drunk I get, I'm usually more sober than anybody else so I make sure that everybody has somewhere to sleep or finds their way home, check on the guys when they're throwing up, and pass out glasses of water like its going out of style.
Tonight was no different, except for the fact that I wasn't drinking at all, wasn't planning on going out to the bar in the first place, and it's a freaking blizzard outside turning a 10 minute trip across town into 30.
I love my guys so it kind of scares me to think of what would happen if they didn't have somebody to babysit them when they get like this. I'm hoping that they will eventually grow out of the 12 hour benders and the booze cruising to Grand Island and back, but I plan on sticking around to make sure I do all in my power to keep them from following in the tragic footsteps of Chris Farley and Mitch Headburg... the dying before their time thing, not the drug thing.
Drunky update: he's now snoring away, making it seem like there is a lumberjack sawing two feet away from me... sad to say, it's an improvement from the yelling.
This all has made me realize that my friends would probably be dead without me. Ok, that might have been a little dramatic, but lately, I'm beginning to think it's close to the truth.
I often find myself the mom of the group, especially when we're drinking. Like to the point of being obnoxious. No matter how drunk I get, I'm usually more sober than anybody else so I make sure that everybody has somewhere to sleep or finds their way home, check on the guys when they're throwing up, and pass out glasses of water like its going out of style.
Tonight was no different, except for the fact that I wasn't drinking at all, wasn't planning on going out to the bar in the first place, and it's a freaking blizzard outside turning a 10 minute trip across town into 30.
I love my guys so it kind of scares me to think of what would happen if they didn't have somebody to babysit them when they get like this. I'm hoping that they will eventually grow out of the 12 hour benders and the booze cruising to Grand Island and back, but I plan on sticking around to make sure I do all in my power to keep them from following in the tragic footsteps of Chris Farley and Mitch Headburg... the dying before their time thing, not the drug thing.
Drunky update: he's now snoring away, making it seem like there is a lumberjack sawing two feet away from me... sad to say, it's an improvement from the yelling.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Housekeeping
I have come to realize that most guys don't care what their surroundings are as long as there is a comfortable place to sit, a T.V., food, and beer. They can (and have) endured hours, days, weeks, and months (I'm hoping not years) of living in stys with no complaint. You just have to peek into many of their apartments to realize how gross they can be... (Joey, this means you.)
This works to my advantage.
I am not the best of housekeepers. I mean, I don't have moldy dishes in the sink for months at a time and shit all over the floor, but today was the second good cleaning that the Lair (my apartment) has gotten since the thorough cleaning it got when we moved in. And yet, the Lair is still the main gathering place for my friends. Hell, they drop in unannounced and spend the night most weekends.
It's probably because I feed them on a regular basis.
This works to my advantage.
I am not the best of housekeepers. I mean, I don't have moldy dishes in the sink for months at a time and shit all over the floor, but today was the second good cleaning that the Lair (my apartment) has gotten since the thorough cleaning it got when we moved in. And yet, the Lair is still the main gathering place for my friends. Hell, they drop in unannounced and spend the night most weekends.
It's probably because I feed them on a regular basis.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Boys are Smelly
And it only gets worse as they get older.
One girly thing about me is that I like things that smell good. There's air fresheners and candles all over my apartment. Puffy is cool with it, or at least he doesn't say anything about them.
Oh, if I haven't mentioned it yet, Puffy is my roommate. We inheirited each other from my sister, Laura, who was his friend and roommate in college also.
While my apartment tends to stay good smelling (unless we have company who have had too much beer, sour kraut, or beans), I work at a place that tends to turn rank on a daily basis.
There is only one other female in my department and she is very simular to me: she tends to get along better with guys and is surrounded by them most of the time.
The customers who come to visit us are predominantly male and some of them don't have the best hygene in the world. Many come in wearing winter coats that have not been washed in 5 years while others stink just because they are farmers and it is a natural hazard of the job. The worst ones are the others who are simply not afraid to break wind in public.
Meanwhile, the guys I work with are expert crop dusters and can clear a room with very little effort. Every once in a while, they are considerate enough to warn me to stay away from a particular area that they had just fumigated but I am not always so lucky. I usually spend part of my day running away from a cloud, holding my breath, furiously fanning the air around me while giving dirty looks, and breathing through my mouth so I don't have to smell what just exited them.
On the other hand, some of them wear really, really good smelling cologne... so I try to stay close to them when others are gassing the area.
...And I found out that it kind of freaks them out when I tell them that they smell good. Win.
One girly thing about me is that I like things that smell good. There's air fresheners and candles all over my apartment. Puffy is cool with it, or at least he doesn't say anything about them.
Oh, if I haven't mentioned it yet, Puffy is my roommate. We inheirited each other from my sister, Laura, who was his friend and roommate in college also.
While my apartment tends to stay good smelling (unless we have company who have had too much beer, sour kraut, or beans), I work at a place that tends to turn rank on a daily basis.
There is only one other female in my department and she is very simular to me: she tends to get along better with guys and is surrounded by them most of the time.
The customers who come to visit us are predominantly male and some of them don't have the best hygene in the world. Many come in wearing winter coats that have not been washed in 5 years while others stink just because they are farmers and it is a natural hazard of the job. The worst ones are the others who are simply not afraid to break wind in public.
Meanwhile, the guys I work with are expert crop dusters and can clear a room with very little effort. Every once in a while, they are considerate enough to warn me to stay away from a particular area that they had just fumigated but I am not always so lucky. I usually spend part of my day running away from a cloud, holding my breath, furiously fanning the air around me while giving dirty looks, and breathing through my mouth so I don't have to smell what just exited them.
On the other hand, some of them wear really, really good smelling cologne... so I try to stay close to them when others are gassing the area.
...And I found out that it kind of freaks them out when I tell them that they smell good. Win.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Boobwatch
After Puffy and Joey dumped me to go to a party in Grand Island (I have to work early tomorrow so drinking 45 minutes from home is not a good option), I decided a movie night was in order with my friends/coworkers Nathan and Matt. We have been working our way through various nerdy/epicly bad movies for a couple of weeks now and our last one was Conan the Barbarian, the old one.
It was epicly bad.
I told the guys that I was going to make them watch the new version because it was WAY better than the original. (I may be a little biased because it stars the super hot Jason Momoa.)
When we decided on movie night tonight, I said I would pick the movie and bring it along. Nathan couldn't make it so it was just Matt and I... and when he saw that I had brought the new Conan, I thought he was going to throw me out of his house. It took me a split second, but I finally came up with a very convincing argument as to why we should watch it:
It is better than the old one... and there's boobs.
So, while drooling over a half-naked hot man with a sword kicking ass, I was also on boob watch.... something I haven't done since the last time we saw "Boobs" (a girl we kind of knew from the bar who we didn't know her name but she had huge boobs that liked to pop out) at the bar.
It was epicly bad.
I told the guys that I was going to make them watch the new version because it was WAY better than the original. (I may be a little biased because it stars the super hot Jason Momoa.)
When we decided on movie night tonight, I said I would pick the movie and bring it along. Nathan couldn't make it so it was just Matt and I... and when he saw that I had brought the new Conan, I thought he was going to throw me out of his house. It took me a split second, but I finally came up with a very convincing argument as to why we should watch it:
It is better than the old one... and there's boobs.
So, while drooling over a half-naked hot man with a sword kicking ass, I was also on boob watch.... something I haven't done since the last time we saw "Boobs" (a girl we kind of knew from the bar who we didn't know her name but she had huge boobs that liked to pop out) at the bar.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Jenny in Real Life
Friday night is wing night at Platte Valley Brewery. Delicious!
It is also one of the regular visits for my friends and I during the week and tonight was no different. I met Joey and Puffy there and we were soon joined by our friend Brett and new-ish friend Trent. We were sitting around talking about redheaded males vs. redheaded femals and drunk stories, enjoying good beer and wings when Trent suddenly stopped the conversation with his full attention on me.
"I just realized that you are alone."
My first thought was, "Thanks for pointing out my single status in such a sensitive way" but I must have had a questioning look on my face becuase he quickly explained himself.
"What I mean is, you are the only girl in a group of four guys."
My first thought was, "This is not unusual, why are you pointing it out?" But I never got the chance to say anything. Puffy, Joey, and Brett all jumped in, their words tripping over each other.
Brett: "No, man! She's like the chick from EuroTrip... Jenny!"
Puffy: "She is one of the bros, man!"
Joey: "She's an honorary guy!"
I even heard a "She's a dude with long hair." (Which Joey took small offense to, since he is an actual dude with long hair.) All of which continued for a minute or two before Trent laughingly raised his hands in understanding... or surrender.
I love my friends.
It is also one of the regular visits for my friends and I during the week and tonight was no different. I met Joey and Puffy there and we were soon joined by our friend Brett and new-ish friend Trent. We were sitting around talking about redheaded males vs. redheaded femals and drunk stories, enjoying good beer and wings when Trent suddenly stopped the conversation with his full attention on me.
"I just realized that you are alone."
My first thought was, "Thanks for pointing out my single status in such a sensitive way" but I must have had a questioning look on my face becuase he quickly explained himself.
"What I mean is, you are the only girl in a group of four guys."
My first thought was, "This is not unusual, why are you pointing it out?" But I never got the chance to say anything. Puffy, Joey, and Brett all jumped in, their words tripping over each other.
Brett: "No, man! She's like the chick from EuroTrip... Jenny!"
Puffy: "She is one of the bros, man!"
Joey: "She's an honorary guy!"
I even heard a "She's a dude with long hair." (Which Joey took small offense to, since he is an actual dude with long hair.) All of which continued for a minute or two before Trent laughingly raised his hands in understanding... or surrender.
I love my friends.
 |
| Joey, Me, and Puffy, Halloween 2011 |
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I'm Always Right... (con't.)
Just had another fight with Joey which ended with me winning and leaving the room to make my hair presentable but not before I heard him try to get the last word in. He turned to Puffy and said "I don't know why I even try..." I couldn't help but poke my head out of my room and say "I'm surprised you haven't figured that out yet." with a shit-eater grin plastered across my face.
Win.
Win.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I'm Always Right. Even When I'm Wrong, I'm Right...
... is probably one of the most common phrases said by yours truly when I am hanging out with Puffy and Joey (two of my closest guy friends, also known as "the boys"). We tend to get into a lot of discussions about various topics, mostly nerdy ones, and it usually ends in us fighting over who is right. These friendly arguments usually happen between Joey and I since Puffy doesn't really care enough to fight with us.
As we sit enjoying a pint, discussing whatever topic strikes our fancy at that particular moment, our discussion usually ends with me saying "Of course I'm right"... and then I'm usually awarded with a surprised and doubting look from Joey and a snort from Puffy. Granted, I'm usually right, but I am stubborn enough to never admit defeat if I'm wrong.
Something that men and women have been fighting over from the beginning of time is who is right and wrong in an argument, no matter the topic. Even tonight, Puffy and I were arguing about something and it ended with him saying "Yeah, that's the woman in you, always thinking you're right" (I was, by the way).
When I first started hanging out with the guys, winning an argument was a matter of pride for me... now I tend to start arguments just for kicks because it drives them up the wall... Yeah, I'm a little sadistic like that.
As we sit enjoying a pint, discussing whatever topic strikes our fancy at that particular moment, our discussion usually ends with me saying "Of course I'm right"... and then I'm usually awarded with a surprised and doubting look from Joey and a snort from Puffy. Granted, I'm usually right, but I am stubborn enough to never admit defeat if I'm wrong.
Something that men and women have been fighting over from the beginning of time is who is right and wrong in an argument, no matter the topic. Even tonight, Puffy and I were arguing about something and it ended with him saying "Yeah, that's the woman in you, always thinking you're right" (I was, by the way).
When I first started hanging out with the guys, winning an argument was a matter of pride for me... now I tend to start arguments just for kicks because it drives them up the wall... Yeah, I'm a little sadistic like that.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Welcome to My World
I am the youngest of four girls in a family very far away from any cousins, uncles, or grandfathers so my dad was the only male I really knew. Of course I had boys in my class in school, but I was never really friends with any of them until high school. Until my senior year, I was not close friends with any guys.
Now I find myself completely surrounded by them.
It was an interesting adjustment in the beginning. When I moved in with my sister, Laura, and her male roommate, I was not 100% sure how comfortable I would be but when I realized that he was girlier than I was and a hermit, there was little adjusting required. Since I did not know anybody besides Laura, she was kind enough to take me with her when she was hanging out with her friends... who were mostly guys. At one point I knew more guys in Kearney than girls. Actually, that still maybe true.
Thankfully, I had Laura and my bestie, Jessi, along to ease the way. When Laura moved to Wyoming and Jessi moved to Lincoln, they left me feeling like Jane Goodall surrounded by gorillas in the jungle.
I still feel like that some days, but I'm beginning to understand them better. I mimic picking fleas and eating leaves so they don't know that I don't belong and I laugh when they get confused by some girly thing I do. Even with all of this, I feel like I belong more with these smelly, disgusting, funny, pigs of men than with most others of my sex.
I'm just a girl in a jungle, navigating through uncharted territory and enjoying the adventure.
Now I find myself completely surrounded by them.
It was an interesting adjustment in the beginning. When I moved in with my sister, Laura, and her male roommate, I was not 100% sure how comfortable I would be but when I realized that he was girlier than I was and a hermit, there was little adjusting required. Since I did not know anybody besides Laura, she was kind enough to take me with her when she was hanging out with her friends... who were mostly guys. At one point I knew more guys in Kearney than girls. Actually, that still maybe true.
Thankfully, I had Laura and my bestie, Jessi, along to ease the way. When Laura moved to Wyoming and Jessi moved to Lincoln, they left me feeling like Jane Goodall surrounded by gorillas in the jungle.
I still feel like that some days, but I'm beginning to understand them better. I mimic picking fleas and eating leaves so they don't know that I don't belong and I laugh when they get confused by some girly thing I do. Even with all of this, I feel like I belong more with these smelly, disgusting, funny, pigs of men than with most others of my sex.
I'm just a girl in a jungle, navigating through uncharted territory and enjoying the adventure.
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